August 6th (city of a thousand planets)

Several activities managed to coalesce into one, coherent whole today, beginning with the delightful task of cleaning the Playtime Centre at church. This then allowed me to stay for the start of the service and worship, before ditching everyone for the boring part, and powering back up the hill for lunch with Gethin, Grace and her mum. I enjoy our conversations of tearing all beliefs and established modes of behaviour to shreds.

Then went to Cineworld to watch Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets with Luke. Totally absorbing, and with a surprisingly unconventional storyline. It was also quite stylistically similar to animes, being based on a graphic novel. I was planning on watching another film afterwards, but it wasn’t screening anymore, which threw my trajectory off course. I was probably better off with a break anyway.

Submitted to the overruling desire for sugar, and bought some cookies on the way back home. Was reflecting afterwards how my fixation on perfection alters how I view criticism, because it makes me feel I could have done better, even when the problem is abstractly, or not even, related to my performance.

July 9th (corpus christi)

The morning I have been dreading finally arrived, with a pre-six start to clean the Playtime Centre before worship rehearsal. Fortunately, it was the cleanest I’ve ever seen it, so big thanks to whoever used it. Enjoyed pumping out the fat bass, although there may have been several lapses in concentration during other points of the service, as my body calculated, and was shocked, at how long it was going to be awake.

Went to Weston Park for a deeply intense time with Holyspirit. However, this plan remained in the realm of fantasy, with me being caught in the crossfire between warring wasps numerous times. I was trying to read Song of Songs when it started, so obviously a direct attack from the bad guys. My mum was passing through Sheffield, so after a hectic tea, we made it to The Well just in time for worship. I cannot describe how grateful I am to be part of this spiritual heritage. Also, as I normally play instruments all the time at church, it was great to not try, but just sing and listen.

I was essentially asking, “Why does stuff have to be hard, can’t I just feel your presence?” God showed me a picture of a burned-out tree stump; it was really lonely in a wasteland. I asked if it was the tree of good and evil from Genesis, but he said, “This is the tree I was interested in.” There were yellow flowers growing on it. The tree represented the body of Christ, aka the church. Jesus was saying he enjoys watching the growth, no matter how useless it painful it seems.

A day in the life – April 22nd (go, go, go Joseph)

Had an exciting start to the day with eating breakfast and dealing with washing. Then cleaned the playtime centre, with the help of the Joseph soundtrack. This was a great opportunity to practice harmonising, although it’s a good job I had no audience (hopefully). I sometimes forget that music can be pure fun; I want to be a dreamer. 

Watched Their Finest with Mike, Nadine, Sarah and Katie. Judging by this film and the trailers, the output of films about WW2 Britain is increasing. The first measurable impact of Brexit. Spoiler alert – Sam Claflin is slowly becoming the Sean Bean of romances. Then had tea together, where we established some important ground rules. Firstly, if I’m cutting onions, and your sat next to my peelings pile, expect fireworks if they’re not in the bin by the time I’ve finished. Also, if you want to be like Jesus, stop moaning, do something, and scrub the floor.